Heartbroken? 5 Ways to Make the Most of a Difficult Break-Up

It's been a month since my boyfriend of three and a half years and I parted ways.  I've been through my fair share of break-ups in the past, so I wasn't exactly expecting a "productive" transition period.  I wasn't even expecting to be functional to tell you the truth.  But somehow, I've been able to take this situation and use it to my advantage.  Oh sure, I have my bad days (eating ice cream for breakfast, staying in bed for the majority of the day, watching sappy chick flicks... the usual).  But I've also been recognizing myself in the mirror more and more lately.  In fact, I seem to be doing pretty well these days (if I do say so myself).  So, as a Recent Singleton, here's my ever-so-humble list of tips for getting through the first month of a break-up:

1. First and foremost, find a journal and write in it.  I know it sounds boring, like homework or something.  But it's been the best way I could find to vent, cry, get clarity on confusing situations, overcome my fears, and ultimately, get some closure.  And as an added bonus: I don't annoy my friends and family with incessant whining about my "failed relationship."
2. Distract yourself.  This one's probably pretty obvious, but sometimes it can be the hardest tip to implement.  Seriously, who's motivated and full of energy after a big break-up?  But force yourself to get out there!  Throw yourself into work.  Join a new network or social group.  Hit the gym (I'm still working on this one, but it's on my to do list, I swear!).  Get dressed up and hit the bars with your friends.  Make new friends.  Go snowboarding (my personal favorite).  Take a class and learn a new skill.  Plan a vacation with your best friend (even a weekend away can help).  Just pick something that sounds good in the moment and go for it!  Whatever you do, don't wallow on your couch... that'll just depress you more.
3. Imagine what your next relationship will look like.  To be clear, I'm nowhere near ready to get involved in another serious relationship yet (geez!  I'm just catching my breath!).  But sometimes it does help me feel better to daydream about how wonderful my next partner is going to be.  Yes, it did take a while to even consider that there would be a "next partner."  But after the initial shock, this has turned out to be a fun little pass-time.
4. Become completely selfish.  Although I miss my ex quite a bit still, it's also been nice to finally have the opportunity to be totally focused on me.  I get to decide what to do with my free time.  I can have whatever I want for dinner.  I can spend time with friends whenever I want to.  I can focus on my career without feeling guilty.  There aren't too many times in your life when you have free reign to do this sort of thing, so take advantage of it while you can!
5. Think of all of the ways you can improve your life.  This has been the most fulfilling part of the last month for me, actually.  Going through a break-up like this one has given me the chance to evaluate my life in a new way.  I've had the down-time to think about what I really want my life to look like in the future.  I've been able to fine-tune things a little.  I definitely haven't accomplished everything I'd like to (I'm still working on that gym thing).  But I'm getting a lot closer, that's for sure.

The bottom line:  break-ups are never easy.  They just aren't.  They turn your world upside down and they make you feel like a basket-case.  But when you (start to) come out on the other side, you may just end up liking your new world even more than your old one.