Dealing with annoying situations isn't always my specialty. Lately though, I've made a conscious decision to rise above my frustrated feelings. I've decided that, even though life may throw a few challenges my way, I have it within myself to deal with these situations in a mature and positive way.
Okay, I haven't been able to maintain this mature and positive attitude at ALL times (in fact, I've found that I'm just a lowly human more often than not). But I have had moments where I've been able to pull myself out of the vicious downward spiral by trying the following tactics:
- Vent to someone I trust. Yes, I know this sounds like I'm doing anything BUT getting over my frustration. But hear me out. I don't know about you, but I can't just "let it go" when I'm really upset about something. I need to get rid of that negative energy somehow. Otherwise it just builds up and I end up overreacting to something really small later on. I suppose exercising or screaming into a pillow would accomplish the same thing, but I prefer to verbalize my frustration to someone who will be supportive and just let me talk. If a person isn't available, I've found that my journal can provide this same type of support. The key to this step, though, is that the venting period has an ending. There's no point in just venting non-stop. A good rule of thumb is once you start repeating yourself, it's time to start moving on.
- Regaining control. In a lot of cases, I've noticed that most of my frustration comes from feeling like I don't have control of the situation. Someone's "wronged" me. Or I can't obtain what I need to overcome whatever challenge I'm facing. But my frustration usually vanishes the second I figure out how to regain even a little control of the situation. This may be as simple as accepting the situation as it is (i.e., cutting my losses). Or it may mean collaborating with someone else who can provide what I need. Either way, focusing on what I CAN control, and letting go of what I CAN'T control usually helps lessen the frustration.
- Figuring out my options. Once I've calmed down a little, then I'm able to start thinking about ways to resolve the actual problem. I've found that brainstorming is a helpful method for figuring out what my options are. Sometimes I'll enlist the help of a friend (or a Coach!) for this step, but other times just writing down a list of everything I can think of works just as well. The more options I have for dealing with a negative situation, the less frustrated I feel, so I often just throw out any idea I can think of. Once I have a complete list, then I'm able to evaluate all of my choices and choose the best one(s).
There are plenty of times in our life when we're going to feel frustrated. There's just no way around it. But figuring out how to use your frustration to come up with an even better plan can make it all worth it in the long run.
Comments