Secrets of Happy Relationships that Most People Don't Know (or don't pay attention to)

I’ve had my share of relationships over the years. Some were summer flings. Some barely lasted through dinner. And others were long-term, serious, of-course-we’re-getting-married-so-let’s-get-the-dog-and-move-in-together relationships (unfortunately, that one didn’t last either). The point is, I’ve had the opportunity to experience first-hand true happiness and misery throughout my varied relationship background. So here’s what I’ve found to be necessary elements of a truly happy relationship.

1) You choose a compatible partner.
2) You rely on yourself for happiness.
3) You maintain your individuality.
4) You trust your instincts.
5) You are honest (with yourself AND your partner), no matter what the consequences are.
6) You expect to give more than you receive.
7) You have shared values.
8) You have common interests.
9) But you also have your own interests.
10) You take personal time to recharge and connect with yourself.
11) You genuinely like your partner.
12) You get excited for your partner when they have good news.
13) You can talk about anything… but you keep some things to yourself.
14) You understand that conflict is a part of relationships, and you’ve learned how to manage it.
15) You avoid Dr. Gottman’s 4 Horsemen of Marital Apocalypse: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
16) You have shared views of what you want your relationship and your future to look like.
17) You encourage your partner to pursue what makes them happy.
18) You can negotiate daily landmines (such as housecleaning, paying bills and what to do with your free time).
19) You choose your battles. But when you fight, you fight fair.
20) You take interest in your partner’s life, and they take interest in yours.

What other elements do YOU need to have a happy relationship? Add a comment and tell us what you love most about your relationship.