Are You Soul Mates? Soul v. Heart Connections

I’ve been witnessing a lot of break-ups lately.  My roommate, my best friend, my sister…. So many people are ending relationships with an individual whom they thought was their “soul mate”.  My best friend in particular is having a hard time moving on from the ending of her 2-year relationship because she and her ex-boyfriend considered the other their “soul mate.”  In one of our marathon conversations last night, my friend said she heard that there was a difference between a “soul connection” and a “heart connection.”  Being the resident relationship expert, she wanted me to weigh in on what I thought.  Here’s what I said:

I do believe there is a difference between a “soul connection” (or a soul mate) and a “heart connection.”  I personally define a soul mate (or someone with whom I have a soul connection) as someone who exists to offer me lessons for my soul growth - and to whom I offer the same.  We help each other grow throughout lifetimes together by being honest with each other, offering answers to challenging life questions, helping each other manage difficult situations, and providing a reflection of what we’re seeing in the other, without judgment or ridicule.  We assist each other in being as authentic as possible.  It’s not always a fun or cheery relationship – often times the relationships I have with my soul mates are the most challenging relationships I have in my life, because these are the individuals in my life who hold me accountable to being my highest self.  They constantly force me out of my comfort zone so I can experience myself in a new way and evolve beyond my limitations of myself.  They keep me on track in this lifetime (and in others), as I do with them.  I don’t necessarily choose these soul mates – I have just learned how to recognize them as they appear in my life.

On the other hand, I also believe we can have a “heart connection” with people who may or may not be our soul mates.  I attribute a heart connection to people with whom I choose to build a romantic, committed relationship.  These people help facilitate my soul growth as well, but through the commitment of exclusivity and the action of love.  The safety of commitment allows us to challenge each other, while knowing that our partner won’t abandon us.  The ultimate “heart connection” tends to result in marriage, where both partners make a commitment to grow throughout this lifetime together, offering and learning lessons with their life partner by their side.  Some of these lessons may or may not be ones we want to learn (i.e., overcoming infidelity or caring for a chronically ill spouse), but being there for each other through these challenges often strengthens our soul as well.

That’s my two cents on the subject.  What do you think?  Do you have a different opinion?